They don't see them, they don't interpret them correctly, and overall they don't believe you feel any differently than they do. The lack of ability to correctly read body language, a common narcissist trait, is one reason narcissists are deficiently empathetic to your feelings. This is why narcissists often misinterpret sarcasm as actual agreement or joking from others as a personal attack. In addition, if your words and expressions aren't congruent, the narcissist will likely respond erroneously or get defensive. They won't believe you and may even misperceive your comment as an attack. Unless you are acting out your emotions dramatically, the narcissist won't accurately perceive what you're feeling.Įven saying "I'm sorry" or "I love you" when the narcissist is on edge and angry can backfire. They just don't notice what anyone else is feeling.Īlthough they're highly attuned to perceived threats, anger, and rejection from others, narcissists frequently misread subtle facial expressions and are typically biased toward interpreting facial expressions as negative. This lack of empathy makes true emotional connection and relationships with narcissists difficult or impossible, where you're dating one or were raised by a narcissist. They conclude that because you didn't follow their plan or because you made them feel vulnerable, you are to blame. In a nutshell, narcissists always think you cause their feelings-especially the negative ones. They don't realize that their feelings are caused by their own biochemistry, thoughts, and interpretations. They think their feelings are caused by someone or something outside of themselves. They don't understand how their feelings occur. Some narcissists also lack an understanding of the nature of feelings. They are also rarely apologetic, remorseful, or guilty. They expect others to think and feel the same as they do and seldom give any thought to how others feel. Narcissists tend to be selfish and self-involved and are usually unable to understand what other people are feeling. Narcissists have very little ability to empathize with others this lack of empathy is a hallmark sign of narcissism.
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